Pepper and Ambien do NOT mix.

WARNING: This entry contains subject matter and language that may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

With my move to Miami a mere day away (part 1 at least), my anxiety has reached new levels making my insomnia 8372493 times worse than usual. My doctor prescribed me Ambien about 2 weeks ago. I tried it the night I picked it up from the pharmacy and it worked...I slept like a baby, but the next day I suffered from a killer headache and nausea that rivaled even my worst hangover. And it lasted until I went to bed again and woke up the following morning. Since that experience I've been reluctant to try again. But I realized I didn't follow the instructions which said to take the pill with a full glass of water. This time, I got in bed and swallowed the pill with water and sat up in bed finishing the bottle. (I realize this is more than a glass, but I didn't want to take any chances.) I tried with all my might to fight the sleep that the Ambien was forcing upon me in favor of finishing the bottle of water, but eventually it was too much to bear. With less than an ounce of water left, I put the Poland Spring bottle on my nightstand and began to settle into a comfortable sleeping position, when suddenly I am forced forward and without warning I begin spewing vomit. Panicked, I reach for the garbage can not far from my bed, but in my Ambien induced stupor, I knock it over and proceed to vomit some more with the trash can on its side.
My initial reaction is 'Shit! I just threw up my birth control and my Ambien. I'm going to get pregnant and I'll be up all night.' My second reaction is 'I need to clean up this mess...I can't believe there was no warning that I was going to vom.' This thought motivates me to get out of bed and proceed to the linen closet to get a towel to clean up my mess. Except the instant I step out of bed, my reaction is 'Fuck, I'm sleepy.' I stumble clumsily to the linen closet and grab what feels like a towel. I have to use my sense of touch since I literally can't keep my eyes open. After bumping into the door ways I make it back to my room and kneel down to clean up the disgusting mess. I fall backwards. I wake up at 4 am...three hours later...on the floor...with a pile of vom at my feet. Good thing I fell backwards.

I did clean up the vom just after I woke at 4, right after I caught my bearings and went back to sleep (in my bed the second time). I still had horrible feelings of headache and nausea all day today.

I had been in the middle of a text conversation with #1, while I was finishing that bottle of water. My end of the convo went like this:

12:53am: Okidl watitk news so de
12:55am: Wrathh 4 ? Entryip tut

It's pretty clear at this point that Ambien is just not for me. Not sleeping is definitely beats that horrific experience.

And now for my next trick....

I am definitely developing insomnia. This is a real problem, as I need to be extraordinarily productive in the coming weeks and I'm finding I have less and less energy. Fortunately many of the tasks I need to complete involve shopping, which is a strong motivator. The less fun things on my list (room cleaning, laundry, scheduling doctor's appointments, pharmacy runs, learning to cook, etc.) are not getting done. On top of that, I'm finding spending time with my friends a chore, which is a horrible thing to have happen. I'm just so damn tired all the time. I have got to find a way to fall asleep before 6 am. Or at least a way to make the time I spend awake productive.

Well I officially have six days left of work. My last day is Thursday and we still haven't told the girls. Speaking of the girls...Today I took two clients to their doctor's appointments. One client (LY) was just going for her initial physical. The other (JG, a challenging client as she is severely cognitively limited unlike any of our other clients) went because she had been complaining of pain in her ear for the past few days. The two clients and myself are in with the doctor when the doctor looks in JG's ear. The doctor says "what is that in there?" and asks me to come look. Its white, so I ask JG if she'd been using Qtips to clean her ears. JG said yes, and everyone in the room agreed the foreign object stuck in her ear was probably a piece of cotton. The doctor attempted to get the cotton out with a pair of tweezers, but was unsuccessful as it was too far into JG's ear canal. At this point, Doc had no choice but to flush out her ear. I've had this done before and warned JG that this is an uncomfortable experience, but the process will relieve the discomfort she'd been feeling. The nurse came in and began the process. Sixteen year old JG began to scream and cry and knock things over in much the same manner as the 8 year old boy reacted to a shot. We'd previously concluded that the little boy was too old to be reacting so violently. The process ended, fortunately without major injury. The object was still lodged in JG's ear, but was pushed out far enough for the doctor to grab with the tweezers. The object is removed, and the following is unveiled:

Sadly in my wild fit of laughter, I was unable to hold the phone steady enough to take a clear picture. But that, my friends is a gum wrapper. With a tiny piece of green (probably spearmint) gum inside. How the gum wrapper got inside JG's ear? The world may never know.