"I want to help people."

Yesterday was my last day of work. I had been dreading it, mainly because of the "hot seat" ritual. At my job when a client is positively discharged from the program or when a staff member leaves the company on good terms, we hold a hot seat and dinner. Hot seat is where the person leaving is the center of attention and everyone in the room (both clients and staff) say some final words to the person leaving and the person leaving says something to everyone else. It's a nice part of closure, but I generally dislike being the center of attention and was worried about what I would say so one particular client who I find to be a vile human being. I was also worried about what the girls would have to say to me too. I begged my supervisor not to make me have one. But I did. And now I'm so glad I did. Everyone (save that aforementioned client) had extremely nice things to say about me. Almost everyone cried and almost everyone said I really made a difference to them. My supervisor and my favorite coworker broke down in tears. But what meant more was the girls telling me how important I was in their progress.

I am not well paid. I will never be rich doing what I do. I work the worst hours and sometimes miss out on big events with friends and family. I get cursed out at work at least 3 times a week. I cry at least bimonthly because of work. I get physical bruises from restraining clients. In all the day to day bullshit that goes on at work, I sometimes forget why I chose this career path. There are so many times when I would be mid-crisis hold and think, sitting in an office from 9-5 would be so much easier. And it would be. The other thought that would always fill my mind is Am I really making a difference?

Yesterday I was reminded that what I do really, really matters and all the money in the world could NEVER compare to the feeling of knowing that because I exist, the world really is a better place.